Christmas Pictures

Christmas in Michigan, 2008

Aside from the crazy drive to Michigan in a blizzard and drive home in fog and intense rain, I had a great Christmas with my family. Here are a few videos I took of Zach and Nick while I was there. 

Health & Wellness - One Year Later!!

It's been a year since my accident where I shattered my shoulder/arm. During the past year I've been working very hard to get my health and fitness level back. After three months of being immobilized and six months of physical therapy, I began returning to my Pilates classes and added Zumba into the mix. I've been working out 8-9 hours per week and feel better than I have in many years.

My arm is tons better, but I still have changes I am contending with. I can't shave my right armpit or put on deodorant without resting my arm on something and stepping backwards. Putting on a bra is a challenge, but not impossible. My shoulder aches if sleep on my right side for too long. There are several exercises that I have to modify in order to complete them. I am working on it very hard and hoping I will get back to 100%, but that might not be possible.

The entire experience of being unable to care for myself and very dependent on others for such a long time gave me a renewed appreciation for my well being and health. I've been on a mission to get in as good as shape as possible. Even though I was in decent shape when I fell and that wasn't the cause of my injuries since my fitness level probably saved me from even more severe injuries, I wanted to do what I could to be stronger and feel better.

I've lost over 50 lbs now and have gained a bunch of muscle I didn't have before. My clothes are just hanging on me and I don't quite recognize myself yet. I think it takes some time for your brain to catch up with your body. I love my workouts, which is key for me. I love going to my training classes and visiting with my instructor and fellow students. We've developed a very fun and interesting sisterhood of women all working on bettering themselves. It's quite inspiring. 

I love doing Pilates, both on the equipment and the Pilates mat classes that used to scare the heck out of me because I found them so difficult. Zumba has reminded me that I have a great sense of rhythm and love to dance! I've learned all kinds of latin dance steps and I get lost in the music. It's amazing how something so traumatic can have such a good outcome if you decide to look at it that way. 

The only surprise so far is the reaction I've had to snow this year. After the first snow fall, my body actually started to shake and I felt as though I had a slight anxiety attack. This took me by surprise, as I am not prone to anything like this, but when I think about the fact that last winter was one long stressful time for me, it makes sense. When I was home, I was fine. When I had to go to a doctor's appointment or physical therapy, I worried about falling and reinjuring myself. Or I worried that my neighbor and chauffeur, Ruth, who has her own mobility issues at age 80, would slip and fall and hurt herself. I remember leaving my orthopaedic surgeons office once, there was a man coming back from a run in the dead of winter, watching as Ruth insisted I wait inside the door while she got the car and slowly made her way to her car, walking with her cane through the snow and ice. The runner looked at me and asked "is that your driver?" I answered yes and he just shook his head and said "God bless you both." I came to describe the two of us as the blind leading the blind. When we arrived for my first physical therapy appointment, we were asked which one of us was the patient. 

When I was home, I was worried that my visitors would slip on the same steps and injury themselves, so I made everyone call me upon arrival and I opened the garage door with my spare opener and had them enter that way. I was so relieved when the snow stopped falling and driving and walking weren't such stressful undertakings. So, when the snow started to fall this year, my brain said "we should just stay inside until Spring." Not particularly rational, but very understandable. Someone suggested that I might be dealing with some slight post traumatic stress and after looking it up on the Internet, I guess that's possible. I hope that it mellows and ends before winter is over. I am trying hard not to obsess about how snowy and intense the drive to Michigan for Christmas will be. 

So, long story short, I am proud of myself for all the work I've done and happy to have come as far as I have over this past year. I hope next year at this time, I am in even better shape and spirit!! :-)

Thanks for reading,

Jillian

4th of July in Michigan 1 & 2

I went to Michigan for the 4th of July and got to spend some quality time with my nephews, Zach and Nick. So much fun!!

Nick is a big boy, at 3 months he weighs 17 lbs. Notice the numerous, adorable chins.

Zach will be 3 in September and is in constant motion, this video is a rare treat!

Enjoy!

4th of July in Michigan 2

4th of July in Michigan

Life Is Rough When You Are A Cat!!

Happy Father's Day!

In honor of Father's Day, I thought I would post this video I took last time I was in Kalamazoo visiting my Dad and Dennis in their newly renovated home. Several events that have occurred as of late have made me especially appreciative of my Dad. 

In the video we just finished a grilled dinner, my Dad's specialty, of Filet and Boneless Pork Chops, with veggies and salad, mmmmmm...very good.  Cake for dessert, just because.

Dennis is being his usual charming and entertaining self!

Adventures in Healing - Part 2

I've been in physical therapy for my arm since January 28th. Next week is my last week.  I can't help but think about how far I've come, thanks in large part to the guidance and support of my physical therapist, Kelly. Not to mention the necessary torture sessions where Kelly moves my arm in ways I am unable to myself. It feels horrible, but has such a good outcome. After she stretches (tortures) me, my range of motion is so improved when I am doing my other exercises.

After applying heat for ten minutes, I hop up on the table and let Kelly do her thing. This video is an example where she is actually being kind because we are just getting started and I am always stiff at the start. After my arm warms up, she pulls and tugs on it more intensely. It's a good thing that she is so strong and fit!

I remember my first session with Kelly. I was terrified of what she was going to do to me, but she was very gentle and explained everything along the way. Trust was developed quickly and a lot of progress made!

I'm a little worried about my progress after I complete my sessions. I just can't do to myself what Kelly has been doing all along. I will just do the best I can and see how it goes.

The people at AthletiCo are so supportive and kind. It's just the kind of atmosphere you need when trying to recover from intense injuries. I've been very impressed by the people I've met there and I am going to miss them when my sessions are over.

Derek (an Assistant and Personal Trainer at AthletiCo - very sweet person) filmed this for me, so I could put this on my blog. 

Friends, Old & New!!

I've been reminded lately of how great it is to be in the company of friends. I've been lucky enough to have great friends in my life and as I get older, I understand how much I love being in their company.

I've been connecting with people I haven't talked to in years.  I met up with Andrea while she was in Chicago on a business trip and Andrea reminded me how good it feels to be in the company of someone that has known you for a loooong time. There is so much that doesn't have to be said or explained. She brought up things that made me belly laugh and reminded me of things I hadn't thought about in years.  There is something very comforting about old friends. It's unfortunate that it took a death to bring us together, but I am so glad it did.  

We went out for a nice dinner, looked at photos of kids and houses and brought each other up to date. It felt very natural and very comfortable. I met Andrea when she started to date and then eventually married a high school buddy of mine. At first, she was a little threatened by me, apparently. She was always hearing about this Jill person that Don was spending time with. Then, I guess on her first birthday that occurred while she was newly dating Don, Don had committed to helping me move. So, instead of hanging out with her all day, he helped me move and then met up with her later. I had no idea any of this was happening. To say the least, she was very curious to meet me. Once we met, we became very fast friends. She confided in me that she was prepared to not like me, we both laughed and on it went. I've kept in touch with Andrea probably more than Don. But you know how girls are. Much better at that! In fact, she lives in Ann Arbor and served as an "in case of emergency" contact for my nephew while he was going to school there. Even though so much time had passed, I knew I could give her a call and ask her if she would be there for him. Of course, she said yes!! 

I asked Andrea to let me do a little video of her. This is the result. I was trying to show her how cool and easy to operate the Flip Video is.

This leads me to new friends, which I feel funny about using the word "new", because Annemarie has been my friend for eight years or so.  She is a more recent friend,  but Annemarie has been there for me in really big ways. Most recently, she was the one that I called from the ambulance when I was being taken to the hospital with my shattered arm. I can only imagine what she was thinking when the paramedic introduced himself on the phone and explained that he was calling on my behalf. She was at the hospital within minutes of my arrival and stayed by my side the entire evening, equal parts protecting me (from hospital workers that wanted to touch me for various reasons) and equal parts distracting/entertaining me.  And in spite of my throwing up in her car all the way home, she still loves me! :-)  Not to mention that Annemarie has been my "financial therapist" for years and is always there to listen when needed. 

I had Annemarie and a few other friends over for dinner this weekend, which turned out delicious! The best part was the conversation and time spent together. Good conversation with great people. You can't beat it!

This is video of Annemarie expertly arranging some flowers she brought me. I was so impressed with her technique, I had to tape it!

Life would be so boring without friends, old and new!!!

Finding Balance

I'm struggling to find balance. I am still injured, but getting much better.  The more improved I feel and more range of motion I achieve, the greater my desire to push myself gets. I understand that PT is still necessary, but I've gained 75% of my arms range of motion back. 75% isn't 100%, but it's the closest I've felt in five months. 

Patience isn't my strong suit, in fact, I think I come by it honestly, I come from a long line of impatient people. We joke that it is an O'Brien trait. I am torn between wanting my life back and fearing re-injury. I know re-injury isn't likely, but it's amazing how much more you can fear something happening to you after it has already happened once. I went down my front stairs this afternoon to drop something off at my neighbors house and I had a short panic attack at the bottom stair as I looked away to see who was walking towards me on the sidewalk. Just the simple glancing away of my eyes caused a brief startle response in my body and my heart started to beat very fast. As soon as I made it to the sidewalk for a couple seconds, the reaction went away.

So, I am getting better and feeling better than I have in many months, but I have to find balance and not push too hard. After my Pilates class Saturday morning, I came home, did my arm therapy exercises, did a series of roll-ups (Pilates version of the sit-up) and 30 minutes on my treadmill on a basic program. Today, I can barely move, my abs are on fire, my legs and arms are tired, you name it. Did I over do it yesterday?? Most definitely. Could I have done all those exercises prior to my injury without problem, yes. 

I need to find a way to get back into the shape I was in before my accident without pushing too hard, but not being too easy on myself either. I think my drive/fear can be felt by others. In my Pilates class, Faith (my instructor/friend) said to me "don't be mad at me for taking it easy on you" and I have to believe she said that in part because she can sense my drive and desire to be back to normal. Is this a normal response for people? Maybe so, I don't know. I've never experienced an injury this intense before and part of me fears that I will use it as an excuse to not be active and so I am doing the opposite to the extreme? I don't know. Interesting questions for me to ponder. Prior to my injury, I was doing Pilates three days a week, two equipment classes and one mat and I was also doing 2 aerobics classes. It will probably be a while before I am back to that schedule. I sure hope I don't drive myself insane in the meantime. 

I need to find what people call a "happy medium" which isn't a place I enjoy. I can be an all or nothing kind of gal with certain subjects, that's for sure.  At least I have given up the fear of what my injury and my decision to eat like I wanted to while recuperating has done to my body and finally got on the scale. I was convinced that I had gained gobs and gobs of weight, when in fact, I am 5-10 pounds from where I remember being before I fell. That turned out to be a good thing to do because my brain quieted down and stopped feeding me false information. Does one ever get over the fear of gaining weight, especially when that is an issue you've been dealing with for most of your life? I should probably read "A New Earth" again, because when it comes to weight, my ego has all kinds of crazy messages it constantly feeds me. (Yes, the pun was intentional)

So, I need to get back into shape, but be gentle with myself at the same time.  I need to protect my arm and it's healing process, but still push myself to get where I want to be physically. I need to find that balance!!

Michigan Trip

I visited with family and met my new nephew this past weekend. I really enjoyed holding and feeding Nicholas even though I felt very out of practice. It seems to come back to you, like riding a bike, as they say. Zachary is getting so big and has unbelievable energy. Oh to be 2 1/2 and carefree!! Here are some videos I took while visiting with them. I know I am biased, but they are pretty darn cute!!

Jon Woodin - May He Rest In Peace

I just learned that my old friend, Jon Woodin passed away last Tuesday. I don't know the circumstances. It's made me sad. We went to high school together, spent a great deal of time together, through college and we were pretty much four peas in a pod. The other two-some was my roommate Ann and his roommate, Jim. We went to concerts together and were pretty much each other's family for a long time.  There is a lot of history between the four of us.

Then, we drifted apart. Jon continued with the partying lifestyle and moved around a lot. I saw him at Bells Beer a couple times when I went back to Kalamazoo for visits. 

Jon was a very creative and highly intelligent person. He had everything in the world going for him, but he didn't seem interested in any of it. I can't help but think about what could have been. He was 40 years old and died much too young. 

Here is my favorite picture of the four of us. Jon is the one looking up and smiling into the sun. I hope he is at peace and my thoughts go out to his family.

Matthew John

My nephew Matt just graduated from U of M and is moving to Las Vegas in hopes of finding a good job and better health. The bakery he worked at in Ann Arbor was slowing killing him due to all the flour dust he was inhaling. On his way to Nevada, he made a quick stop at my house to meet up with my Mom and Joe. He followed them out west. Here's hoping that Matt finds a great job and is really happy out west. He's a real smart and sweet kid. I hope the very best in life for him!

Family Comes for Visit Part 2

How we passed the time together.....

Family Comes for Visit

My Mom, Joe and nephew Matt came for a visit last weekend. It was a nice visit, we played cards, went out to dinner and just hung out. Here is some video of the weekend I took.  Prior to Matt's arrival, we watched a documentary called "The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill" and you will see how much everyone enjoyed it.

Ding Dong, the Chair is Dead!!

The very grungy and dirty lift chair that has been occupying my living room for the past four months was picked up today and delivered back to the hellish place it came from!! It was the last remaining evidence of my injury and special status these past months. I am so grateful to my friend's husband and partner for delivering it to me when I was in desperate need of sleep and for taking it back today!! My living room is back to normal, aside from the horrible grease stains the chair left on my carpeting.

No one should get away with renting such a horrible chair, let alone get $120/month for it. I will be contacting the health department or better business bureau to report them.

My new, too cool treadmill will be delivered tomorrow. I am excited!

Me with Bedhead & Sling!

Home Bound

So, what does one do when house bound for several months? Especially when she lives alone? As you will see from my posts here, she drives her cat crazy, buys a new computer and flip video and takes tons of pictures and movies with them, even though nothing of great interest is taking place. I shattered my right arm on December 3rd and spent the next three months sitting in a chair in my living room, entertaining myself as best as I could. Things are much improved now, but I wanted to put some examples of my work here for fun! Enjoy!! It's cutting edge entertainment!!!

Trinny As Lap Warmer

Adventures in Healing